Holidays and Mental Health: Keep Your Sanity During the Busiest Season

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The holiday season is a time of getting together with family, enjoying traditions, and joy. At least, it’s supposed to be.

If you’re a mom, it also comes with more things on your plate and a lot more stress. The shopping for gifts, planning visits, decorating, cooking—it’s a lot on top of the regular day-to-day.

It’s so easy to get lost in it all. So, maintaining your mental health as a mom during the holidays can feel impossible.

It doesn’t have to be like that, though. There will always be some stress, but if you use intentional strategies, it’s possible to preserve your well-being—and even enjoy the holiday season.

In this post, I will share ten practical ways that I manage the holidays and mental health without sacrificing joy or self-care.

Acknowledge the Stress and Set Realistic Expectations

Before anything else, it’s important to recognize that the holidays naturally come with heightened stress levels.

You take on more than you can handle and expect yourself to create the “perfect” holiday experience.

If you set realistic expectations around managing the holidays, this helps your mental health.

Actionable Tip:

Take a moment to list out everything that is typically on your plate during the holiday season. Prioritize the most important tasks and consider dropping or simplifying the less significant ones.

If you’re anything like me, everything feels like a priority. But it isn’t all equally important. If you’re struggling, consider asking someone for their opinion on what they would prioritize.

Remind yourself that not everything needs to be flawless—good enough is sometimes perfect. Kids don’t need a lot for an ideal holiday.

Often, the times we’re “lazy” are the most memorable for them. When we can let go of the expectations, we can be a more fun and engaged parent.

Delegate and Ask for Help

This one can be hard. Like really hard.

It’s common for moms to feel like they have to do it all. Sometimes, even if you have a competent partner willing to help (ask me how I know!).

But that’s a one-way ticket to burnout.

It’s ok to ask for help from your spouse, older children, or extended family. You don’t have to be responsible for every aspect of the celebration.

It’s everyone’s holiday, and it’s ok for everyone to participate in making it happen.

Actionable Tip:

Assign specific tasks to family members, such as decorating, wrapping gifts, or cooking. Even young kids can pitch in with age-appropriate chores.

You’ll have to help your kids, but your spouse can be responsible for thinking of, buying, and wrapping their family’s gifts, for instance. And make it known this is their responsibility from now on, so you don’t have to assign the same tasks every year—they’ll just know.

And each year, you can assign more complicated tasks as your kids get older and more capable.

Prioritize Sleep

Ok, if you have young kids who are still wakeful at night, this one sounds annoying. I get it. With an 11-month-old, I’m right there with you.

However, I’ve found that lack of sleep is a leading contributor to poor mental health for me. I can’t function well when I’m running on fumes.

And, of course, sleep tends to be sacrificed for endless tasks during the holidays.

Actionable Tip:

Set a hard bedtime, and stick to it. This one has been really hard for me.

There’s always “one more thing” to get done. I always overextend myself, and then I’m left tired and cranky because I need to stay up late to do it all.

My husband and I will often try to get the regular household things done through the day quickly so we can work on creating Christmas magic at night after the kids have gone to bed.

We also let some things go a bit in the name of prioritizing sleep. We don’t sweat if we wait a couple extra days to do some of the chores.

Simplify Gift-Giving

Gift-giving can cause me a lot of stress and overwhelm. There’s so much pressure to find the perfect gifts for everyone on your list.

Simplifying your gift-giving approach is a great way to balance holidays and mental health.

I love giving people gifts, especially when I feel like they’re the perfect gifts for them. But I start thinking about the gifts I’ll give people early, so if I’m not careful, I can ruin the last third of every year with anxiety.

Actionable Tip:

Talk to your extended family about starting a gift exchange or “Secret Santa” to reduce the number of gifts you need to buy. And shopping online can ease the stress of running from store to store.

This year, I’ve picked up a new hobby that doubles as gifts to give for the holidays. I started making jams and pickles and canning them. I started this because it felt like a fun way to provide some food items for my family while getting to make something.

But then, when I talked about it with my family and let them try some of the things I was making, they were excited about it. I got quite a few not-so-subtle hints about how much they’d love to have them.

So this year, unless you’re my kid or spouse, you’re getting a basket of preserves and some family photos. And the best part is they’re done months in advance.

Practice Mindfulness

I used to think this was a woo-woo kind of suggestion and not at all relevant to me. But you see it everywhere, and I was getting overwhelmed, so I figured, why not try it?

If it turns out I don’t benefit from it, no harm done.

It turns out that it’s not what I thought it was. And it’s been hugely beneficial.

Actionable Tip:

Try to find 5-10 minutes each day for a mindfulness practice. It could be as simple as taking deep breaths, focusing on your senses, or practicing gratitude.

You can find apps like Headspace or Calm that offer guided meditations tailored for busy schedules. Etsy has lots of gratitude journal printables. Heck, you could even use an Excel spreadsheet or the Notes app on your phone.

I like to sit for a few minutes, take deep breaths, and just think about what I’m grateful for. This helps me to reframe things and helps me realize what’s actually important to me.

Stick to a Budget

This is another one that’s tough for me. I grew up without a lot of money, but my husband and I are doing better financially than my parents did when I was a kid.

I tend to want to go overboard and overspend to give my kids what I didn’t have.

I’ve found that I have to make a conscious effort not to give them everything they want. I don’t want to raise entitled kids, so I’ve had to work on this one.

Financial strain impacts my mental health, even after the holidays are over. So, in an effort to be a mentally healthy mom for my kids, it’s been a little easier to resist this urge.

Actionable Tip:

Set a realistic budget before the holiday season, and stick to it. The good thing about kids is that it’s not necessarily the mountain of presents under the tree that makes them love this holiday.

Often, they love things like baking together, decorating together, and watching holiday movies.

You could even get them involved in a new hobby that provides gifts. I’ve gotten my oldest son to help me make the pickles and jams I’ve made for everyone. And he’s having the best time!

Take Breaks

If you’re a mom, you’re no doubt running from one task to another during the holidays. So many things go into making the magic—it can feel non-stop.

But you’re allowed to take breaks. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are.

And not only that, you should. If you don’t, you risk crashing and burning. And then no one is having a good time.

Actionable Tip:

Grab any 5-10 minute lull you can, and take a break. Maybe you want to sit quietly for a few minutes, maybe you want to do a mindfulness practice, or perhaps have a cup of tea.

Whatever it is, do whatever small thing you can to recharge your batteries instead of completing another task.

Say No When Necessary

There are so many events happening over the holidays. You’re getting invitations to Christmas concerts at your kid’s school, work holiday parties, friend’s parties, family stuff, and more.

As a recovering people pleaser, I struggle to say no to these invitations. But I just can’t attend everything. I prioritize the kid stuff and then fit in whatever else I feel I can (and want to).

Actionable Tip:

Practice saying no to events or commitments that feel overwhelming. I mean that, literally. Stand in front of a mirror and have a script for saying no. Try something like this:

“Thank you for inviting me! I’ve been feeling a bit stretched lately, so I won’t be able to make it this time. I hope you have a great time!”

Or if you’d like something with a little less explanation: “I’m sorry I can’t make it, but I really appreciate the invitation. Wishing you all the best for the event!”

Stay Active

Physical activity is a great way to reduce stress and boost mental health.

You’re also likely eating lots of yummy holiday food that may not agree with you. I like to counteract that with exercise so I don’t feel completely terrible.

Actionable Tip:

Incorporate short bursts of activity into your day. It doesn’t have to be an hour at the gym. Even a short walk after meals can be hugely helpful.

And if you can incorporate your kids, even better! Do a short yoga routine together or have a daily dance party.

Exercise doesn’t have to be time-consuming to be beneficial. Even small amounts of physical activity can elevate your mood and relieve stress.

If you’re unsure where to start, Get Healthy U TV might be something to consider. You can get a year-long subscription for $3 right now, and they have a wide variety of workouts to fit your needs.

Nurture Your Own Traditions

It can be easy to keep on with the traditions that you’ve always done. But, especially when you have kids, you must ensure those traditions work for you.

Before I had kids, my husband and I would run around the city visiting with family, and even then, it was too much. We’d spend the entire next day actively avoiding doing anything.

And now that we have kids, forget it. We’re not hauling two small children all over the place. We’ve spread our Christmas visits out over several days and are much happier.

Actionable Tip:

Sit down and think about what traditions you enjoy and which aren’t working for you. Eliminate any that aren’t, and find new things you’d like to try.

If it doesn’t feel meaningful to you, it’s not worth ruining your holiday.

Putting Yourself First

The holidays are great, but they can be a significant source of stress if you’re not careful.

Prioritizing your mental health doesn’t mean neglecting your family or skipping the celebrations – it means taking care of yourself so that you can enjoy the holidays more fully.

If you implement even a few of the above tips, you can enjoy a more balanced and joyful holiday season.

And you deserve it! You spend so much time creating magic for those around you—you deserve to have some magic, too.

If you’re looking for other things to do to get some self care in, check out this post!