Daily Self Care Habits: How to Take Care of Yourself First (at least sometimes)

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I know this seems like an impossible idea. Being a mom means you’re constantly taking care of others. The list of care tasks I do daily for my two small children is seemingly never-ending.

But you realize you’re not taking care of yourself at some point. For me, it was when I realized that I felt angry more often than not.

I never wanted to be the angry mom, but after having our second child, the never-ending care tasks drowned out my needs. It wasn’t that I pushed them aside. I was so busy that they weren’t even registering.

I eventually realized I was on the fast track to depression and was able to voice that to my husband. Luckily, he’s a very supportive partner, and he made sure I did things to change my path.

Once I started doing things for myself, I became a better mom, partner, and person. I now use it as motivation to keep doing things for myself. It’s easier to do something if it’s for my family rather than just for myself.

Read on to learn how to take care of yourself first sometimes, too.

But How Do I Start Putting Myself First?

This feels daunting, but it doesn’t mean you have to constantly ignore your family’s needs in favor of your own. It’s important to recognize that your needs matter, too.

A lot, actually. It’s been my experience that if you don’t fill your bucket, at least some of the time, everyone in the family is affected.

But how do you start putting yourself first, especially when you have small children who require so much care? Or even older kids who are used to always being put first?

I’m sure it feels too self-indulgent to spend a whole day away at the spa. It certainly does for me.

There are many small ways you can put yourself first every day without sacrificing the well-being of your family.

Simple Ways to Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some easy, practical ways to fill your cup:

Listen to the music you want to listen to

We never got our kids into listening to kids’ music—we mostly introduced them to the music we like. So, most of the time, I let my 4-year-old pick the music we listen to.

But my husband and I have been making big Sunday breakfasts since we got together and have listened to the same playlist every Sunday morning.

My kids know that on Sunday mornings, they don’t get to choose the music. They don’t always like it, but they get over it pretty quickly because we’ve never budged on this.

Cook the Meals You Like

This one has been a bit of a tough one for us. It’s so easy to get into the habit of just cooking the stuff you know the kids will eat.

Now, we’re fairly lucky that so far, both of our children will eat most things—unless it’s spicy. But we like spicy foods.

So, depending on the dish, we may make two different versions. We’ll make the whole dinner, then take our portion out and add spices we like.

Or, if that doesn’t make sense for the dish we want, we’ll cook it, and have a simple alternative for the kids, like chicken fingers and fries. And I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s ok for them to have that stuff sometimes.

We’ve also been fortunate lately to get a few date nights where the kids go to their grandparents’ house. On those nights, we have our date nights at home and cook something super spicy.

Also, as a side note, we always sit down and eat together as a family instead of having to cook twice a night.

Move Your Body

It took me a long time to get back to working out. I was over a year postpartum with my second before I started again.

I used to play roller derby and was used to feeling strong, and I realized I was struggling to run and play with my kids. I needed to feel strong again.

It hasn’t been the easiest, but I found a way to include my kids in some workouts. On work days, I take a half hour, do a weight lifting routine with my husband, and spend at least an hour on my walking pad. I also aim for 8,000-10,000 steps a day.

I am much happier, feeling stronger and more confident every day.

Engage in a Hobby

This one has been tough for me—I’ve had to get creative. I love all things crafty, and I could sit and craft an entire day away and be happy.

But, when you have small children, things like knitting, cross stitching, and painting don’t fit well between all the care tasks.

I’ve been able to carve out small pockets of time for these things here and there, but I’ve also discovered things I can do with my 4-year-old.

I started canning last year, and I LOVE it! I started out wanting to make blueberry jam and liked it so much that I made dill pickles and Lady Ashburnham pickles, too.

We had so much that I made up Christmas baskets for our extended family. They were probably the most well-received gifts I’ve ever given.

Don’t hesitate to rediscover an old hobby or find a new one that brings you joy.

I also make sure to take time for whatever crafty project I’m working on every night after the kids go to bed.

Make Time for Your Spouse

This one has definitely been a struggle for us. Two small children really get in the way of spending meaningful one-on-one time with your spouse.

It did for us, anyway. Before kids, we had weekly date nights and made each other a priority. After kids, it hasn’t been possible to do date nights very often.

But my husband and I carve out small pockets of time for each other. We work out together on the days I work. We also sit and chat with each other on work days. This is often while we’re making or eating lunch.

And every night, we talk about the day, then sit on the couch with a snack and watch something together. It’s a small thing, but it’s made a huge difference in our relationship.

Other Things You Can Do to Put Yourself First

1. Drink your coffee or tea hot—try to time it so your kids are occupied for a few minutes so you can drink your coffee or tea before it cools down.
2. Wear clothes that make you feel good—ditch the stretched-out leggings and get something that makes you feel more confident.
3. Stop sharing your food—it’s ok to say no to sharing your food. If my kids want some of what I have, I get them their own. I don’t sacrifice my food.
4. Take social media breaks—if I’m on social media too much, it drains my battery.
5. Start a skincare routine—it doesn’t have to be a complicated 15-step process, but having a short routine you do before bed every night can make you feel cared for.
6. Laugh on purpose—watch funny reels, listen to a comedy podcast, or call a friend.
7. Eat your food while it’s hot—we don’t get up the second a request is made. Unless it’s something we’ve forgotten to get them, we make them wait until we’ve had a little bit of our food first.
8. Make a short gratitude list every day—get in the habit of writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.
9. Make a short list of things that went well—write down three things you felt you did well as a parent every day. It’ll force you to stop looking at only the bad moments.
10. Learn to say no—don’t agree to things that drain you if you can help it.

A Happier You Means a Happier Family

When you learn how to take care of yourself, you teach your children the importance of self-respect and boundaries.

They see what it’s like to value your own well-being, and that sets a positive example for their future relationships.

Healthy boundaries in relationships create a more peaceful home, allowing everyone to thrive.

So, the next time you feel guilty about prioritizing yourself, remember this: Taking care of yourself first is one of the best things you can do for your family. A well-rested, happy mom is better— you deserve that happiness!