Self Care Ideas for Moms: How to Fit it into Your Busy Life

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Before the crayons, the endless laundry, and the never-quiet moments filled our days, there was a person—a woman with dreams, hobbies, and a carefree laugh. In the whirlwind of motherhood, amid the joy and chaos, it’s easy for that woman to lose sight of her own needs and well-being.

That’s what happened to me, anyway. Having a busy preschooler and a toddler is a lot. It feels like every time I knock something off the to-do list, two more things get added.

I love being a mom, but parenthood is relentless. And the ever-growing list makes it feel like you can’t even consider doing any self care.

When I had only one kid, it was easier to get some time for myself (but still not always easy). This was only because I have a husband who is very involved and insistent.

With two, it’s been so much more difficult. I recently admitted to my husband that I feel like I’m heading toward depression. Doing things for myself was no longer a luxury but a necessity.

But you can’t just go off and do whatever you want with kids. It’s important to find something that fits into your life. Here are some self care ideas for busy moms.

What Is Self Care and Why Is It Important?

Fitting self care into the chaos was still an issue. My husband works through the day, so he can’t exactly take the kids for me to do something on my own. We had to get creative.

Like I said, I was heading toward depression because I felt like I had nothing for myself. I used to do my hair and makeup most days, but now I don’t feel like I have time.

I love being creative—knitting, cross-stitching, painting, and macrame are all things that fill my cup. But how do you do any of that without little hands getting in the way?

Once my husband and I brainstormed ways to fit some of this in, I became a better mom. And the more I fill my cup, the more of a patient and happy mom I am.

I yell less and have much more capacity to deal with the inevitable challenging moments that come along with small children.

I’m closer to the mom I want to be.

Because I see such a change in myself, I’m working on letting go of the mom guilt that comes with putting yourself first. I say working on it because it’s a process.

I do this by correcting myself whenever I think I’m taking something away from my children. Like many, I’m a people pleaser, so I’ll tell myself I’m not doing it for me—I’m doing it for my kids. Self-care is not selfish—it’s crucial for serving my family.

This has been a helpful way to reframe doing things for myself. It makes me feel like I don’t have an excuse to put stuff off.

Put Yourself First (At Least Sometimes)

This one feels hard. Little kids have so many needs—how do you put yourself first when they need something?

I’m not telling you to neglect your kids. But there are their actual needs—diaper changes, eating, sleeping, etc.—and then there are perceived needs.

We get so caught up in getting it all done that we don’t stop to consider that some things can wait a little bit.

The best example of how this works for me is at mealtimes. We have an almost 4-year-old and 10-month-old. If my older son has finished eating quickly and asks to get cleaned up, we now tell him he has to wait until one of us finishes their food.

Previously, we’d get up from our meal and clean him up. Sometimes he cooperates, sometimes he doesn’t, and often we’d come back to cold food. And then we’d be grumpy about it.

His getting cleaned up immediately was a perceived need.

Initially, he whined about it, but it started to get better once we consistently did it. Now, he mostly accepts it.

We also do this with using the washroom. He doesn’t like it when we have to use the washroom if it interferes with something he wants to do. But we do it anyway.

Find a New Hobby

This one can be tough to find time for. What worked for me was finding something where I was making something with my hands, but I felt like I was making it for the family.

I recently started making jams and pickles and canning them. I also love that it’s something my oldest can help me with.

This one also has the added benefit of providing food for my family. This has a few start-up costs, but they’re pretty minimal.

I can find the fruits and veggies needed from local farm stands at a reasonable price—often even on sale.

Some recipes I’ve found online, and some are old family recipes. But what I’ve made has been such a hit with our extended family that I decided to make enough to give out as Christmas gifts.

We all know how much Christmas puts onto our mental load, so anything that takes some of that away makes me feel better.

Get Crafty

This one can be hard to find time for as well. Doing crafty things during naptime can be a good option—if your kids nap. My baby obviously still naps, but my oldest son stopped napping at 2.5.

This is where screen time comes in for us. I used to feel guilty about screen time, especially using it this way. But I’m letting go of that. Sure, sitting your kid in front of a screen all day isn’t good, but neither is yelling because you’re burned out.

I don’t get to make everything I want, but I have projects that are easy to pick up and put down at any point. My current favorite is a ten-stitch blanket I’m knitting. It’s simple and functional. (*note that I use videos on YouTube from The Nervous Knitter for easier corners and joins)

This can also be something that you make for Christmas gifts. You could take up knitting or crocheting and make something small like a mug cozy.

If you want to have your kids involved, set them up with something crafty, too. Start having crafting time as part of your daily schedule.

Try Therapy

Therapy is something I’ve wanted to do for quite some time, but it’s easy to put off.

I think what’s stopping me is that finding the right therapist feels daunting. But I know I need to bite the bullet.

I had a pretty good childhood, but like everyone else, I still hold trauma from that time. My parents were both cycle breakers, but knowing what their childhoods were like, there were too many for them to break them all.

Not to mention, I grew up in the 80s and 90s. They didn’t have the benefit of the internet and all the research that we do now. So they did a fantastic job, considering.

I think if I can work through some of my stuff, I’ll be a better mom and wife, and I’ll feel better for myself.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

Ok, I know everyone says this. And it seems kinda hokey. But it honestly helps.

You don’t need to go out and get some fancy journal (unless that helps!)—even just a note in your phone works.

This is all about retraining your brain to look at the positive. It’s so easy to see the negative that you may not realize all the good around you.

There are no rules, so do what works for you. Write in it once a day, or write in it multiple times throughout the day. Heck, if that even seems to be too much, do it once a week to start.

On the days that you feel like everything is terrible, you’ll have something to look back on to remind yourself that even though you’re having a rough day, they aren’t all bad days.

Listen to the Music You Want to Listen to

This is one my husband and I have done from the start. Our kids never listen to kid music—they listen to music we like.

Now, do we go around singing songs from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood? Yes, of course. They’re often super catchy and helpful when trying to help our toddler with something.

But when we listen to music at home, he asks for music like Foo Fighters or the Beatles. And on Sunday mornings, we listen to our folk music playlist.

My husband and I have been listening to this playlist while making a big Sunday breakfast since we started dating. Sometimes, my son protests and wants to listen to something different, but we don’t budge.

We let him pick what we listen to most other times, but this Sunday morning tradition is important to us, so we stick to it.

Of course, some of the music we listen to isn’t appropriate for little ears, so we save that for the rare times we’re alone in the car.

Workout with Your Kids

Finding time to workout can be challenging when you have kids. After my first kid, it was a little easier—I’d strap him into my Ergobaby carrier (and later our child carrier backpack), and we walked all over our city.

It wasn’t uncommon for me to walk 20,000 or more steps in a day. I didn’t feel like I needed anything else at that time—walking that many steps with a child strapped to your body is quite a workout!

But now, with two kids, I find getting that kind of exercise more challenging. Having a toddler with you slows you down.

I’m also not as strong this time. After two c-sections, my body was relatively weak. I also seem to have some diastasis recti, so that complicates it even more.

With diastasis recti you have to be careful with what you do for exercises as many of them can worsen it.

So, it’s best to research before starting a workout routine. And let’s be honest, who needs another barrier when you’re already at max capacity?

I found Toni Hatinger on Instagram and enjoy her simple and effective workouts. They’re typically short and easy to do with your kids around.

I used to play roller derby, and I miss feeling strong. I’m enjoying working toward feeling strong again.

Get Outside

This is one of my favorites. And for me, it doesn’t matter if I’m alone or with my family. If I can explore outside, I’m filling my bucket.

Even if I’m just outside in my yard, I find it helpful to be out there. My son goes to his grandmum’s house twice a week, and she lives close enough for my husband and I to walk him over there.

On the days when it’s rainy and we drive, I miss the walk.

Taking the kids outside often feels like a hassle, but I’m always happy that I did, even in the middle of winter.

Check out this post if you’re looking for tips on taking your kids on adventures.

And if you’re looking for some affordable gear recommendations, check out my Benable board for the best affordable adventure gear I’ve found. You don’t even need a Benable account to view it.

Lower Your Expectations

This was a hard one to learn.

In early motherhood I had so many ideas about how things were supposed to go. Google was definitely not my friend! I had so many unrealistic expectations around…well, everything.

Once I started to trust my instincts more, I began to get more confident, and I had less anxiety about everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I still look things up on the internet, but I don’t just believe everything, especially if it doesn’t feel right.

Now that I have more experience, I’ve significantly lowered my expectations. Are my kids fed? Healthy? Safe? Loved? Then I’m a good mom.

Nobody is winning any awards, and kids will humble you fast.

When expectant mothers ask me for parenting advice, I tell them to lower their expectations. And then lower them again.

I’m much happier now that I’m not placing those unrealistic expectations on me or my kids (and so are they!).

Self Care for Moms is Worth It

Being a parent is hard. Finding time for self-care can be even harder.

If you can find a few little things to sprinkle throughout your day for yourself, it’ll make motherhood a heck of a lot easier.

And it’ll make you a better mother. I know it’s already made me a better mother, and I’ve only just started my journey to finding what works for me.

Go ahead and do a little soul-searching, figure out what you need to thrive, and figure out a way to weave that in. You and your family will be happier for it.