How Can I Be an Incredible Mom?     

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Before becoming a mom, I read a lot about having kids. I read about parenting and children for probably a decade before becoming a mom.

I felt like I had a good idea of what I was getting into when having kids. Everyone says you can’t know how hard it is until you’re in it, but I’d read so much that I felt prepared.

I thought it’d be easy to continue to care for my needs while having kids.

And then I had kids.

And, oh boy, was I wrong! Everyone was right— you really don’t know until you’re in it. And it can take a real toll on you if you don’t find ways to fill your own bucket.

And you start to wonder—how can I be an incredible mom?

The narrative of a happy mother happy kids isn’t just a catchy phrase—it’s the truth. I’m a much better mother if I find ways to fill my bucket.

Why Self-Care Matters for Moms

It’s no secret that the motherhood journey is rewarding and challenging. You love those kids fiercely, but having kids hanging off you all day is overstimulating.

Or maybe you work and have guilt around that.

And in the slog through the day-to-day, self-care for moms often takes a backseat. It can feel selfish to do things for yourself.

Yet, it’s crucial to understand that self-love for moms is far from selfish—it’s essential. I can tell you I’m a much better mom when I’m taking care of myself.

To be clear, I don’t think of things like showering and grocery shopping alone as self-care.

Self-care, to me, is doing something that brings you joy. Maybe that’s taking a long bath, perhaps crafting, or maybe getting outside on an adventure.

Embracing self-care ideas and adventure with kids can significantly benefit your psychological and physical well-being.

I like adventuring with my kids and alone. I feel so much happier when I can get outside in nature or explore a new area. Heck, even a walk on a city trail can be helpful.

Engaging in outdoor activities for moms or a family adventure provides much-needed stress relief for mothers and also contributes to mental health for moms by breaking the monotony.

The ripple effect of a happy mother happy kids scenario cannot be overstated. Children thrive when their mothers are happy, fulfilled, and mentally healthy.

The Power of Adventure in Self-Care

After having my first baby, I discovered that carving out time for self-care was not just a luxury but essential to my sanity and wellness.

I do things other than adventure for self-care, but adventuring is the biggest and easiest to fit into my daily life because I can take the kids with me.

The power of adventure in self-care is multifaceted, engaging both the mind and the body in experiences that uplift and renew. As a mom, embarking on adventures, whether solo or with my kids, became a cherished method for hitting the reset button on my stress levels.

These explorations, ranging from simple outdoor activities to mom adventure activities with a hint of adrenaline, served as much-needed mental health breaks, enriching my growth and fostering a profound sense of self-love.

The fresh air, the challenge of new experiences, and the joy of discovery enhanced my physical wellness and instilled a lasting happiness in motherhood.

Being in nature and tackling adventures head-on sharpened my resolve and resilience, teaching me valuable lessons in balancing motherhood with personal aspirations.

In turn, this happiness radiated, echoing the sentiment that a happy mother fosters happy kids.

With everything, my ability to practice self-care goes up and down. But it’s evident when I can’t get out much.

I’m not the mom I want to be, and my oldest is much less cooperative. Our days are just more challenging all around.

When I can get in some self-care and am the mom I want to be, I love motherhood. If that sounds like you and having a mom subscription box would bring you joy, check out Mom Life T-Shirt Shop!

Simple Adventure Ideas for Self-Care

Adventures don’t have to be a big production. I’m not scaling mountains weekly over here. Keeping it simple is the best bet—otherwise, it feels impossible to do regularly. Here are a few ideas to get you going:

• Nature walk: Whether you venture out solo for some peace or bring the kids along, immersing yourself in nature offers unmatched stress relief and happiness in motherhood. This is my go-to option because it’s most accessible for me.
• Picnic at the park: Pack a lunch filled with easy-to-prepare or grab foods, make a snack plate for lunch, and head to a local park. There’s minimal food preparation, and you can sit down to eat while the kids run around and get their energy out.
• Backyard camping: A fun-filled family adventure that requires minimal preparation. It’s a great way to spend quality time with your kids, teaching them about the outdoors from the safety of your home. It also relieves the worry of forgetting something—you can just run back inside!
• Joining a mom adventure group: Find local groups that focus on outdoor activities for moms. This is a fantastic way to meet like-minded moms, share self-care tips, and engage in personal growth together.
• Trying adventure sports: From kayaking to rock climbing, add some thrill to your self-care routine. Start with beginner-friendly adventures to ensure safety and enjoyment for both moms and kids.

Balancing Solo and Family Adventures

Finding balance as a mom isn’t easy, especially when nurturing our spirit through adventure while also trying to give our children those kinds of experiences. But I think both family adventures and solo adventures are important.

Solo adventures awaken a sense of self-love and personal growth in mothers, offering precious moments of reflection and self-care beyond the daily parenting routines. These moments of solitude allow us to reconnect with our dreams, ensuring we don’t lose sight of who we are beyond our roles as caregivers.

However, the joy of family adventures cannot be understated. These journeys are the cornerstone of creating lasting memories and instilling a sense of wonder and exploration in our children.

They are a powerful tool for teaching resilience, teamwork, and the joy of discovering new things together. And watching them grow as people through adventure is amazing to watch.

It can be challenging to fit family and solo adventures into your life. I find it’s easiest if you can make it part of your daily routine.

Integrating Self-Care into Your Daily Routine

Finding the harmony between motherhood, self-love, and personal growth can sometimes feel like navigating an intricate maze. As a mom, integrating self-care and adventure into my daily routine initially seemed daunting.

Here are a few tips I’ve picked up to help get you started:

• Start small: Begin with simple self-care ideas that can easily fit into your day. A short nature walk, reading a book in the garden, or even a solo coffee date can work wonders for your mental health.
• Quality time with kids: Adventures don’t always have to mean grandiose plans. Exploring local parks, trying outdoor activities, or even a backyard camping night can create memorable family adventures.
• Schedule it: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Even busy schedules can accommodate small windows for self-care. It may not be an entire spa day, but even little pockets of self-care are helpful.
• Keep supplies ready to go: I always have an adventure bag ready to go. It’s much easier to go if you don’t have to worry about packing and forgetting stuff. Which means you’re not adding to your mental load.

If you’re just starting and don’t have much gear for adventuring, check out my Benable board of the best affordable adventure gear I’ve found for some recommendations (you don’t need to make a Benable account or anything to view).

Overcoming Guilt: Putting Yourself First

Mom guilt.

We’ve all felt it more times than necessary. And often, when practicing self-care, it tags along too.

And it’s no wonder—the narrative we hear everywhere is that any moment not spent directly in service of our families is somehow wasted. That we’re being selfish.

To overcome the guilt, we need to reframe it a bit. It’s not selfish. And it is in service of our families.

Children learn what we model to them. If you’re taking care of your needs, they learn that taking care of oneself is important. If we want them to care for themselves when they’re older, we must teach them when they’re young.

And if we’re consistently meeting our own needs, and our buckets are full, then it’s much easier to be a good parent.

I can always tell when I need to take a little extra time to recharge. My patience runs out much faster, and I get snippy.

That’s not the mom I want to be. So when that happens, I try to find a way to get a little more self-care in. It can be tricky, and I still struggle with the mom guilt, but I try to reframe it—I’m not just doing it for me. I’m doing it for my kids.

As a recovering people pleaser, this helps push me to do it. If I’m doing it for someone else, it’s much easier.

So, let’s change the narrative. Every time you’re practicing self-care, say these things to yourself. Outloud if you need to:

“I deserve this.”

“This is not selfish.”

“I’m doing this for my kids.”

Say it enough, and you’ll eventually believe it. I’m still working on it, but I believe it more than I did when I started repeating this to myself.

Engaging Your Community in Adventure

Adventuring solo or with your kids can be amazing self-care. But motherhood can get lonely, even if you have a wonderful husband or co-parent.

I’m incredibly fortunate to have a husband who is very involved in caring for our two boys. But he works a 9-5 job, so he isn’t always available, leaving me with the kids a lot.

I’m also very fortunate that my oldest goes to my mother-in-law’s house two days a week.

Now, I’m aware that I’ve got it pretty good. I don’t have to do EVERYTHING like a lot of mothers do.

But despite having all that support, I still find things overwhelming. It’s still tough. So I know those of you without those supports are drowning.

However, engaging your community in adventure can be a great way to fill multiple buckets with one activity. You get to get in some exercise, which helps boost your mood, you can get in some adult conversation, and you get to be out in nature.

You can also feel good about your parenting because adventuring with others is educational, and your kids get to socialize, too.

Maybe you have a few friends who are parents who would like to set up regular adventures. Maybe there’s already a mom group in your area that does this.

Either way, having that camaraderie with other parents can make a significant impact on our mental health.

Engaging your community in adventure encourages personal growth and the blending of diverse parenting experiences, offering fresh perspectives on balancing motherhood, self-love, and the quest for happiness in motherhood.

If you’re looking for ideas for adventuring with your kids this fall, check out this post!

Answering the question: How can I be an incredible mom?

Self-care for moms goes beyond the occasional spa day—it’s about finding joy and adventure in the mundanities of parenting, whether through a solo outdoor activity or exploring with children.

It’s about balancing motherhood with our need for personal growth, ensuring that you prioritize your mental health.

It’s about being the best mom you can be by fulfilling your needs instead of putting yourself last. Because putting your needs on the front burner regularly actually puts your kids first. They’ll have more long-term happiness if their mom isn’t always stressed.

So, let’s embark on this journey together, exploring, loving, and thriving in motherhood.