How to Be a Better Mom by Cutting Yourself Some Slack

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.

Being a mom is one of the most rewarding but also one of the most challenging jobs out there. I know everyone says it, but man, it’s so true.

Between work, home life, and the never-ending to-do list, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing as well as other moms, especially if you fall into the trap of comparing yourself to what you see on social media.

The truth is, you’re doing great, mama! Bad moms don’t worry about whether they’re good moms.

But if you’re constantly setting unrealistic expectations for yourself, you’re setting yourself up to feel like a failure.

Learning how to be a better mom starts with showing yourself some compassion and letting go of the pressure to be perfect.

The Danger of Unrealistic Expectations

Many moms hold themselves to impossible standards—trying to be the perfect parent, partner, and professional.

But the weight of these unrealistic expectations can be crushing. Social pressure, comparison, and the belief that we should be “doing it all” can lead to burnout, stress, and even shame spirals when we fall short.

I’ve realized that the more shame I feel about yelling or whatever happened that day, the more I parent that way. It becomes a cycle of making poor decisions.

The reality? No one is perfect. And being a mom isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, loving your kids, and doing your best.

Everybody loses their cool sometimes. It’s more about how you show up afterward that matters. I always try to come to my kids and apologize for anything I feel ashamed about. It typically stops the shame spiral, and my kids don’t have to deal with a cranky mom for the rest of the day.

The more you let go of impossible expectations, the more you realize you are doing a great job.

How to Take Care of Yourself and Find Balance

Cutting yourself some slack doesn’t mean giving up—it means recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to how much you accomplish in a day.

Here are some ways to be kinder to yourself and embrace being a good mom, even when you don’t feel like one:

• Let Go of the Mom Guilt – Easier said than done, but mistakes happen, and that’s okay. Instead of dwelling on them, focus on what you’re doing right. Your kids don’t need a flawless mom—they need a happy, present one.
• Prioritize Rest – This can be tough when you have very small children. When they’re so little, they’re often wakeful at night. But a tired mom is an overwhelmed mom. When my youngest is struggling with sleep due to teething or being sick, I’ll go to bed shortly after him. I don’t get as much time to myself, but I find that lack of sleep is worse for me than less time for myself. And it’s usually a temporary solution.
• Set Realistic Goals – Managing expectations is key. Instead of striving to do everything, focus on what truly matters. When kids are so young, regular care tasks can take up a lot of time. It’s not surprising that the house isn’t always up to the same standards you had before kids. Some days are all about survival.
• Celebrate Small Wins – Did you make it through the day with everyone fed and somewhat happy? That’s a win! Recognizing these moments can help shift your mindset.
• Ask for Help – You don’t have to do it all alone. Support is essential whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a community of other moms.

• Limit Social Comparisons – Social media can make it seem like everyone else has it all together, but appearances are deceiving. You’re seeing someone’s highlight reel, and comparing your regular day to someone’s best moments doesn’t make sense. Limiting social media use can be helpful to your parenting.
• Make Time for Joy – Whether it’s a solo coffee break, a fun outing with your kids, or a quiet moment to yourself, finding balance means making time for things that bring you happiness. You and your happiness matter, too.

You’re Already a Great Mom

The best way to learn how to be a better mom isn’t by doing more—it’s by giving yourself permission to do less and being okay with it.

The love and care you show your children every day prove that you are doing a great job.

When your kids are grown up, their measure of how good their childhood was won’t be how clean the house was.